30.1.14

One day I thought I could be everything (and somehow I still think because I'm too young), but maybe I'll say this when from all of my dreams just a few will come true. Some of them would not even exist because I know there's unpossible things. But then I've realized that you have to wait until the right moment, wait for your turn on the line, wait until you have a college degree, wait until you have money enough to make all your dreams come true. It's not worthy to be hypocrite, let's be real, some money help to solve a lot of problems. And somehow I'm seeing myself stuck in a bunch of them. Not major problems that should be the main worry, but that little big problems that only are problems because we are not happy in this situation. Yes, I have a free spirit, I hate routines, I like to discover new things, to dream, to create, to dare for something better and under this crisis, I feel it's not possible. And then my mind starts to be shorted, not something I can control, but I'm conditioned by society and economy. Of course, we all say, we have the control of our own life and it depends on us to do what you really want, but that's not really true. 

I wanted to build something bigger, something better, something invisible and at the same time gigantic, it would be my biggest treasure, because I wouldn't show off around, instead I will enjoy every single second of that real treasure that is enjoying life. I don't want to spend the rest of my life counting bucks to survive, because that's not living. I want to enjoy it instead, admire the real world, see things I've never seen, do things I've never done, find my true gift for what I've made and came to this world, as it seems like we are just playing roles of good students, good house keepers, good mangers, excellent daughter...
I don't fit in all this acting, because if I wanted to act I whould be an actress. 
But then I realize, yes I have a lot of dreams, but so everyone and if everyone could make their dreams come true, there would be no garbag men, no politics, no doctors, no parents, no government, no physics, no mathematicians, no fishermen, no butcher, no baker... 
And that would be an anarchy! So I keep quiet on my seat, having all this thoughts but only sharing with you that hopefully hope you understand me. Still, I believe in fairy tales with beautiful blue long dresses where all of us can fit in and make our dreams come true.


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